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there once was a king
and the king had a plan
and the plan had a fist
and the fist knew a man
and the man had a mouth
and the mouth spoke at meetings
and the meetings always started
with the shareholders greeting
and the shareholders smiled
'cause they chose this for a reason
and the reason was the cash
and the cash was worth believing

just then the military rulers
and the privileged elite
from the distant third world countries
where there's not enough to eat
were all a clamoring for tickets
to the dictators' ball
'cause they always held an auction in memorial hall
and the king sent his plan
and the plan sent the fist
and the fist bid on the vast tracks of land
on the list

ancestral lands of the tribal people too
were included in the package
look what government can do
and the king breathed easy
his wife and his kids
would never see up close
what with his money he did
compared to his court all this land
was cheap
and the laws could be exploited
and nobody would make a squeak
growing local food was the
farmers on the land
now evicted they became
from the far off kings' demand

and the cattle ranches came
and the cattle ranches grew
in the name of lethal poison
all the cattle ranches grew
'cause time is money
'cause the forest isn't flat
'cause the shareholders need
luscious 4th quarter facts

rapunzel's in the tower
will she let her hair down?
this tv show is stopped
by an ad with a clown
telling kids that they're normal
if they eat a little meat
in a store with bright coloured swiveling seat

tell your mama mama now
tell your daddy daddy too
if you want a childrens party
this is what you gotta to do
and the gold that the king spent on doing this trick
brought back 30 times his investment quick

and there's tons of ink that's going to waste
at the publishing shop
where an order was placed
by a man with a fist
and a wallet so big
that on wheels it came with an adjustable lid
not a couple hundred
but a couple million stacks
and the title of the book was
"nutritional facts"
and they hired a doctor with a phd
and she wrote the intro
and the book was free
it said "there's lettuce in the bun
and your health is no joke
you gotta drink water
and there's water in coke"

and the people felt good
- if it's in print it's legit
and they ordered more fries
and they never did tip
because the policy said
"we're just happy little slaves
and we work the night shift and the holidays
and we're mostly women
who are less than 20
and it's easy to train us to smile a plenty
and clean the toilets
and work the grill
and we're mostly part-time
and we're here until
we become enlightened
about the union way
and they fire us quickly
if we're heard to say
the shifts are too long
and it's smelly and hot
and promotions are never
and the wages are not"

now the chickens and the pigs
in the kings' factory farms
where they never see the sun
where they only know harm
are dying so bloody and barbaric and cruel
that along with their meat
comes urine and stool
now a couple in england
they were getting so sick
of observing the king
and the way that he ticked
and they went to greenpeace
and they got a fact sheet
and they stood in the rain
and they stood in the heat
and they gave out the truth
and they did it for free
'cause this life is too brief to go quietly
and they may have had parents
who told them to stop
or the king and his lawyers on you
will call cops

it happened one tuesday
the king wasn't sad
he was buying the patent for satellite ads
that the phone did ring
and his wife did scream
and his cops did jump
and his legal teams
went to work on the couple
that had shown much nerve
but would the unfair libel laws
for the king serve?

well the case was the
longest ever british made
and they gave them no jury
and no legal aid
the king had only 30 billion dollars to spend
to crush the people who would defend
the right to speak the truth out loud
to tv or newsprint or internet crowds
and the judge in the end said that he agreed
with the couple on trial
and their view of greed
and their view of workers
and their view of wealth
and their view of torture
and their view of health
but i'll find you guilty of making a fuss
it's people like you that are libelous

© 2008 Robert Neil Wiseman SOCAN


from More Work Songs From The Planet of The Apes, track released January 1, 1997


all rights reserved



bob wiseman Toronto, Ontario

A long time representative of Beta Keratin Bob Wiseman contains vitamin A and can help your eyes, teeth, hair, and bones. Only then you can fight astygmatism and tooth decay together. Other music offers you no such protection from the wiles of UV rays! Consider this music and prevent preventable signs of aging. Give your hair a sheen and bounce that sadly is lacking from most modern musical acts. ... more

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